I did it

May. 19th, 2004 08:04 pm
nocturnus33: (Enlight me)
I did it. Today, after posting the last updated here, I recived a call from the boss of the new university, asking me personally to join his team. I told him that I will love it, BUT I have the "brazilian conection" problem. He "hum, hum" a bit and say he would talk to the dean. So is not in my hands now but I was honest and that left me in peace.
Then I recive a mail from my Mum, telling me to slow down the pace, to finish my PHD and not to go to Brazil 'cause Oedipus will miss me. Call my mum to voice my anxieties alloud! She moves my guilt so well, even if she tries to be supportive.
But then, I decide the "let it be" aproach, what ever happen, it will be. If I go to Brazil, we will be near each other, two hours by plane, so I will ask a credit - appart from the scholarship, and travel once to see them on a weekend and ask hubby to go with the kids to fetch me at Sao Paulo the last five days. When I told hubby about my mum comment, he was furious: "Our kids has a cappable and loving Dad, did she think I'll abandon them?" He is cute. This sort of things reminds me daily why I love him.
nocturnus33: (Enlight me)
Waer is allready giving it's fruits. To weeks I will be speakinf in a "round table" (?) link to the UNICEF. WOW. i felt I know so little, how could they take me seriously, but I will play the "knowledge" perfom, and think in all this as a rite.

Also I have a real possibility of leaving both, bad and good university for a full time job as at a good, but rather new, university. Good salary (three times mine!!!!!!!); know people from pre grade nice and intelligents: left handed catholicism there, so we will share the same code and language; money for research and publications. The problem being? It start on August - second term - same time that I have the offer to go to USPI (Sao Paulo University, as a exchange student), the latter is a good oportunity to contact VERY good latin american researchers for my post doctorate. But I need to get a special scholarship for that, have good posibilities but is not for sure.

To be or not to be.

Today is the last day to present my curriculum vitae.
I think I will leave it to God. I will participate in the selection process (I have very good posibilities of being selected) and IF an only IF I get the job, I will ask if I could start in September, or upload a web page with distance work for student in August or send my assistant. But it still don't felt right to me. Not confortable. Want my mum here for take a desicion, don't want to be an adult know. But it could be good for them to hire a young researcher willing to do a post doctorate. ???? Hope so.
Why all the oportunities must come toguether and at the same time?, I'm greedy, I want everything, I need the money, I´m tired to work in conservative atmosphere.Also I need to finish my thesis soon, a full tiem job won't help.

But also, I must keep in mind that Chile have too much privates universities, and all signs show that they will die in the next five years, a few will survive. This one is part of a powerfull congregation that attend to a low/middle class students (Here Universities fees are a sin, only welth people can study). Most probably this U will survive the purgue, and is nice to work in prepearing low class students. Could mark a difference in this, our very classistic (Spanglish?) society.

In my guily pleasure, Coak, Chaos, and objects were update. The call has been satisfied.

A funny note, at the WAER (world congress) I found to researcher who reccon this non academichal adiction to Harry Potter, I tell them about fan fic, and I'm afraid I have convert them to this cult.
nocturnus33: (Default)
I´m drained but happy. WAER finish today. Make lots of contacts, a few friends - mostly latinamericans, the warmest -and get everything ready for a four weeks stay at Sao Paulo, now I "only" need to win the scholarship that the goverment has for researchers travels. But it seems that is not that difficult, becuase i have all the things they ask as requirements.
Make me anxious to think of being away the family for 4 weeks, but it could be good for the thesis, I could finally finish it and make good intellectual network. They offer me a post doctorate...I don´t know if I want to go so far. Just thinking in my current thesis makes me sick...but temptation is strong.
Any case, travel will be only in the second term, if and only if I win that scholarship. Who knows?
nocturnus33: (Default)
speak and spell
You're a Speak & Spell!! You nerd, you. Just
because you were disguised as a toy doesn't
mean you weren't educational, you sneaky
bastard.


What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Very in charachter for WAER!


Not in a sad mood, but in a happy one, I´ve just realized that I miss my grandma, she would have been so proud and happy, and I would have been so anoyed over her fussing arround me. Telling everybody I'm a genious. Je, Je, Im in a megalomaniatic mood.

WAER

May. 11th, 2004 02:55 pm
nocturnus33: (Default)
Just arrived from WAER (World Congress for Educational Research), I did my speech, and everything was ok. More than ok, actually. I finish it today at 6:30 AM. I always wait till last minute, I hate when I do it, but can't go away my very nature. The funny thing is that I'm brightest under that kind of pressure.

No difficult questions, but interesting ones.
The WAER has help my self steem A LOT, I heard a lot of speechs and have the feeling that are really interesting BUT nothing as hard as I had imagine. Also I've realized my thesis is a good one, and had potential. Now I just want to work mote on it, it was really abandoned.
A funnny think happend, and put in good use my fanfiction addiction. After me,the croatian delegation has to expose thier research, but somehow, there were no one to translate from english. So, I offer my self as one, and end up translating a hole speech over futurology in education.
There are plenty of good, and some not as good speechs.
I am waiting for the Iraqui research about reconstruction of their educational system, on friday.
Tonight the whole Brazilian delegation will have dinner here (Remeber the post about picking them at the airport?.
The Colombian guys work in a very similar line of research as mine.
Also meet Fernand Oullette from the Universite of Quebec, Canda. I've read all his his books when start my project.
I'm thrill, and in a very lobby mood.

Happy, happy, happy, happy.
nocturnus33: (Default)
Ok, Father I confess I'd sin: I activate a neurone. Just my latin neurone, the suicidal one.
Here is the "problem":
A few months ago my abstrac for a speech (?) at the World Science of Education Congress was accept. BUT I have to pay, and after economical debacle I quit, not officially but just not pay. Today, I found my beloved friend Marcelo, el pelaó (Bold). My 25 years old, idiotic, genious and irresponsable friend.
He says today was the last day for paying , I say I have no money at all.
He says knew a magic way (legal & ethical) of paying a LOT less. Stupid me, havent realized that I could do it that way.
Then I argue back that I have no "speech" (?) at all, and the congress start on Monday, he says he hasn´t his too.
Then he say I was a coward (Wich I am)
NOW I have to talk in a World Congress and have NOTHING prepared, nothing AT ALL.
It seems that this weekend I will be off line, non fanfic.
Please girls, pray for me. I now I can do it, Is just re reading my PHD Thesis and put it in Power Point (wish so). Never, ever, I've talk in public , except for my classes or in mass (wich are "safe" spaces for me). I´m afraid too academichs.
EWWWWWWWW, ARGGGGGHHHH.

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